This whole pregnancy has gone by in a flash. I feel like Frenchie and I were just standing in the bathroom waiting on the double lines to appear and now our son, Palmer Addis, will be here in a few short weeks. It has been an interesting adventure so far and even though I haven’t traveled as much as I would normally, I have definitely arrived at a different place. I guess I could give you a list of the times someone touched without asking or I cried for no reason but instead I am stepping into this new thing with so much gratitude and love. That’s what I want to share.
Love actualized. Frenchie & I fell in love and from that love comes this other person. Being “with child” confirmed for me that I was married to a really amazing person. He has exemplified love in his giving, patience and willingness to be used as a klennex, shoe remover and back scratcher. I already knew I could count on him but this time really cemented that for me. What I didn’t know, couldn’t see until now was how much others loved us, how this baby would mend relationships in our families and bring together a village that supports us as people and now as parents.
Ease is the only way. I have control issues. I like plans. I make plans. But even in a planned pregnancy there will be surprises. I have learned that ease is my friend. I am okay going with the flow because the current is moving in the direction of good. No need to try and control what you don’t control. The minute I relaxed it was easy to focus on all the things that have been wonderful on this journey. I have been emotionally and physically well. The preparation for our son’s arrival has gone smoothly and all the while we have been greeted with abundance. It’s been easy.
I appreciate this body. It’s so strong and before this experience I could tell you every imperfection. I had a roll to lose, I needed my tummy to be flatter, my butt tighter. As my body changed and my waistline disappeared I realized that while being healthy will always be important, I appreciate this body, bigger, smaller, for all that it is. For nine months it has sustained two lives and with minimal discomfort. It may be bigger than I would prefer but that’s okay. I struggle with what it will look like after our son arrives but I also laugh at how I considered myself so fat before. I was pretty hot and I will be again.
I walk in my own truth, proudly. For the entirety of this experience I have been bombarded with unsolicited advice and recommendations. In some ways it was annoying and entirely frustrating but at a particular point I learned to let others fill the space with this need to advise even though they don’t know my situation or my own time spent researching and deciding for myself. I decided on medical interventions, to continue a yoga practice, dietary choices & any number of details because of what I felt would be best for my family. And at this point I don’t feel the need to explain. My truth is mine alone. I write to Palmer regularly and recently I told him that at the end of the day, each and every choice I have made during this process has been motivated by the greatest good and however it turns out it has all been done for love.
🙂 So next time you hear from me I will probably be in between a feeding or full of extra typos because I need a nap… I will also be experiencing what I now realize will be one of the best parts of my life. I am so grateful for every kind word, gift and hug from those around me. I have always been grateful for my family, friends and clients, but I am especially so now.
Many thanks to Jasiatic for this fun maternity shoot!Pin It